I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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