I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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