yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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