but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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