fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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