kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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