you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
vagina is talking i cant
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
