I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
