Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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