I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
