She's JV to your varsity
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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