i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize