So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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