Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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