But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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