Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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