this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
