nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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