I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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