I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize