paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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