God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
