I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
