Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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