True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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