bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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