Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
