Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
