i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
