some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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