singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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