dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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