Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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