Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
