i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
