If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
