I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
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I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
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Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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