I will die if light touches me.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
