fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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