I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
