Your mouth is God's brothel.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
