Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
