Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
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rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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