Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
