I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
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I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
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For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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