Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize