i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
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His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
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As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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