I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
pop tarts are not kleenex
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
