Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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