Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
