I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
