This is not my ceiling
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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