Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
