my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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