I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
