Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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