farters have to be the big spoon...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
