You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
