She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
