Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
