I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize