I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
