I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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