we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize