I just made out with a guy for $7.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
