just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
