They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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