We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
